One thing leads to another.

Finally. My debt is paid. Finished school. Now, it's time to hit the road. Busy browsing the Internet, look for newspaper ads, dropped my CV to relatives who worked and has co-workers in companies of my interest. Continually make efforts to survive in this cruel man-eater world. Been avoiding places I 'want' to go and limit my destinations only to the places I need to go. Bitter sweet...but it's for the best. At least that's what financial advisors kept on bitching...Hemat Pangkal Kaya!mmmm...poor today, long live richie rich later on! (hope it wont be another utopic saying).

I sorta sound devastated, eh? cause I am. My 5 and a half life support kit has shown symptoms of ignorance and boredom. Oh-oh...he's like, my one and only source of income! and if his mum knows that the kid doesn't like me as much as he was before, then I'll be marked with a big L on my forehead. Nu-uh, that's not me. I've slipped a few times, but I managed to wake up again. I wont let this horrify me and blur my way to get myself a full time occupation. Missing those deadlines...those emotions...those energy flows...those vibrant weekends the whole staff's all been waiting for...

As TiMe Goes By...

Taking things one at a time…time says it all. I believe that every thing in my journey of searching for the meaning of living is all in the right timing.

A pinkish childhood, filled with Barbies, seaweed flavored Taro, fake hair rollers and hair dryers, stuffed teddy bears, a gigantic Garfield, and make-ups. I had fun… even though with strict prohibition of not being allowed to buy snacks (‘til I ended up pick pocketing a handful of bubble gums in a crowded shop near my skool!), played ABC Pancasila throughout skool days and transform into Ibu Guru at home with my stuffed animals as the pupils, got bruises from being pinched by my impatient sista for unable to do Maths homework…Ah, those days!

A bluish puberty-hood, with heaps of colorful jelly shoes and Doc Marts (most wanted item of the 90s), long flower-patterned skirts, backpacks surrounded me…everybody seemed to look alike…I was just not into it. Got head over heels with this guy (I feel like puking whenever I reminisce him), naively, I followed the game, and found out that I was being fooled around (the worst thing is that the bastard is listed in one of my hi-skool’s mate’s Friendster). In all, this age sucks!

A purplish hi-skool…got several flings with some fellas J It was nice, like the scent of grass after the rain, which really gives extra energy injection to bring my feet to skool. Been a latecomer each and every day (so many lateness that I had to do my exam at the teacher’s office), hung out to Melawai (like, every weekend…), stuck in a mate’s house in Gandaria –while people outside are setting fire on cars and took out 30’ TVs from electronic shops as if they deserved it—during kerusuhan Mei, photographed on a fishing spot for year book, gone here and there with uncountable people behind. Crazily kool those days were…

A rainbow-ish uni days, with all colors in them. Learned soooooo many things, the hard way, the smooth way, the miraculous way. I cherished each and every one of them dearly, no matter how painful it was. Juggled with my unstable thoughts, fears, and insecurities. As Joe “fear factor” used to say ‘it’s all in your mind…’ umm, maybe he’s right.